Love has many faces. Some do us good, others wear us down. Doctor Mario Alonso Puig makes it clear: not everything that seems like love really is. When it comes to the false kind, it's best to walk away without looking back.
A physician, lecturer, and a leading figure in personal development, Puig has spent years talking about how emotions influence health. In his most recent talks, he has focused on a powerful idea: genuine love has the ability to heal. He also warns that there are ways of loving that can cause deep harm.
For him, true love doesn't arise from need. It doesn't rely on dependence or the search for compensation. On the contrary, it emerges when one is already at peace with oneself. From there, one can love freely, without conditions or demands.
Mario Alonso Puig and true love
Puig explains it clearly. Many relationships fail because people look for in others what they haven't solved within themselves. "We demand that they compensate us," he states. That attitude, according to him, creates constant tension, and the joy of sharing is lost while the pressure to meet expectations appears.
Healthy love, on the other hand, doesn't demand, doesn't want to change the other person, and doesn't impose or turn affection into an obligation. It's a presence that accompanies but doesn't erase. "It allows you to be yourself," the doctor repeats in several of his talks.
Beyond the emotional aspect, he also speaks from a medical perspective. Puig reminds us that love has real effects on the body: it raises oxytocin, lowers cortisol, improves the immune system, and protects the heart. It can even influence longevity. In his words: "Love not only changes your mood, but also your biology."
But if that love is based on demands, the effects are very different. Constant pressure, the need for approval, or the fear of not being enough generate stress. That sustained state, according to Puig, ends up making you sick. "If someone makes you feel like you're not worth anything, get out of there as soon as possible," he advises.
To identify if one is on the right path, he suggests a simple question: do I feel free in this relationship? If the answer is no, it's time to reconsider the bond. Genuine love, he says, doesn't need permission or demand permanent sacrifices. It brings calm, not anxiety.
The message is clear: first, you have to learn to be well with yourself. Only from there can you build a healthy relationship. "When you love yourself well, you stop accepting anything in the name of love," he explains.
According to Puig, you shouldn't be afraid to leave behind a love that doesn't add to your life. Recognizing it is an act of courage. True love doesn't hurt, doesn't exhaust, doesn't control. It accompanies, nourishes, and sets you free.
If that's not the case, it's better to run. Fast.