Doctor and science communicator Mario Alonso Puig has stated that learning to say "no" is an essential step toward achieving happiness. During a recent appearance, he shared his perspective on the importance of setting emotional boundaries to protect our mental health. In his words, "we don't know how to say no" is one of the major problems that prevents us from being truly happy.
In today's society, saying yes seems to be the norm, even though we often do it against our will. From a young age, we are taught to please, to accommodate, to not let others down, even if that means letting ourselves down. This attitude, although it may initially seem generous, can lead to frustration and emotional exhaustion.
Taking care of yourself also means setting boundaries
According to Puig, the problem lies in the fact that we confuse kindness with a lack of boundaries, and that has serious consequences. When we say yes to everything, without filters, we end up prioritizing others' needs over our own. In the long run, this leads us to feel empty, with our self-esteem at rock bottom and with a constant sense of not reaching anything or anyone.
Studies conducted in the United States, according to Puig, have shown that many people spend their time on urgent things, even if they're not important to them. Although this may seem productive, it only increases tension and anxiety levels. In his opinion, it's not about managing time better, but about redefining our priorities.
Learning to say no, the expert insists, is an act of honesty and self-care. It won't always be easy, especially if we fear disappointing others or appearing selfish, but remember that we're not perfect and that accepting our vulnerability is the first step toward living with greater well-being. "We can't be perfect people all the time, that creates distress and tension," he states with conviction.
How to set boundaries effectively
In this process, a useful tool can be the so-called sandwich technique. It consists of delivering a negative response wrapped between two positive statements, which softens the message and keeps the relationship cordial. For example, first thanking for the invitation, then politely declining it, and finally showing interest in another occasion.
Psychologist Ana Belén Medialdea also supports this idea and offers clear advice: start taking care of ourselves every day with small gestures. Find five minutes for ourselves, disconnect from the noise, and focus on what we really need. That moment of pause can make a big difference.
Ultimately, saying "no" doesn't mean rejecting others, but rather starting to respect ourselves. It's not about being selfish, but about being honest with what we need. As the expert says, "it's necessary to do it to be happier."